Another bus story! It's been awhile since my last public transportation story, and while this story is not quite as good as the last one it's still pretty funny. Ok so I get on the bus today and it's about half full. Nothing too spectacular as far as bus characters go; middle-aged, crazy woman in a one sided conversation about her sister's new boyfriend Sal, guy on the receiving end cursing himself, smelly homeless guy, nerdy professor, blah blah blah. It's your typical bus fare. No pun intended. Yea, I just did that. Anyway I noticed there were three people sitting across from me - a fat guy with greasy brown lunch bag in his lap, a student, and another pretty large man in his thirties (Nothing too distinguishable about this guy so let's just call him "big boy"). There is one seat open between the student and fat guy and there is a metal pole pole on the other side of fat guy that is pushing up against the outside of his upper thigh. It's a tight fit even with the open seat. Anyway here comes the funny. This old, fairly hefty, woman wearing all white and these black Ray Charles sun glasses gets on. She decides that she doesn't want to sit in any of the MANY open seats on the rest of the bus, and sits right between fat guy and the student. AHAHAHA! Classic. So here they are, the four amigos - big boy, student, white Ray Charles, and fat guy all smushed together right in front of me. The lady literally had to wiggle her butt multiple times to finally wedge it in snugly between the two guys. Even more funny, they all didn't move. They just sat there, squished, pressed up against each other's nastiness for like 20 minutes. Slowly, more and more people got off the bus until eventually it was just me (with a full row of empty seats on BOTH sides) and them. The whole bus was empty except for us. And i just sat there...watching in awe, staring, enjoying the spectacle that had been created in front of me. I kept thinking to myself, "Why doesn't someone just move?? MOVE!! Move you idiots! There's seats! There's seats here! There's seats EVERYWHERE!! GO!!" But they didn't. They just sat. I eventually got off and left them there. I was really hoping that they just stayed like that the rest of the route; just looking around like nothing's wrong, totally uncomfortable, sweating profusely, wondering why they couldn't feel their legs. It was so confusing and entertaining at the same time. Anyway, it was a memorable ride nonetheless.
Hilarious, Heidi! Oh the weirdness of public transportation.
Jason's actually the bus rider in this relationship. Though I am pretty jealous of his bizarre stories.
Best post I've read in a really, really long time! Missed you in D.C. GTMO sucked. Jay-2